Publication date: June 28, 2026
🕒 8-minute read 

Building Trust with Untrusting Employees

There are some pretty terrible leaders out there in the world. Chances are you know one – or worse, you’ve had one. The manager who micromanages, has favorites, avoids conflict, lacks empathy, takes credit – it’s the worst.  And after an experience that was likely terrible, if not traumatizing, one thing is true: you never want to go through it again.  

But here is a part leaders don’t always think of: you may be leading someone right now who is recovering from that kind of experience. These employees carry a residue of a toxic culture and, understandably, can show up in uber protective mode. They are conditioned for survival, not collaboration. These employees may be reserved, adverse to making suggestions or taking risks, and have difficulty creating bonds with other employees or customers. Their interactions may be standoffish as they may question someone’s true intent. It’s tough.  

So, how do you lead someone who is bouncing back from bad-boss trauma? And how do you become the boss they always needed, and frankly, deserved? The kind that rebuilds confidence, restores trust, fosters development, builds rapport, celebrates their wins, and reminds people of what a healthy team and productive workplace can feel like. Rebuilding trust after it’s been broken is difficult, but it can be rebuilt with intention. 

So how can you be THAT leader in the best way? We’ve broken down our recommendations in this guide.  

1. Talk. To. Them.  

It sounds simple. It’s not. Employees coming from difficult environments are often cautious, if not guarded. They’re reading the room. They’re trying to figure out if this new environment is actually different. Your job is to not leave them guessing. We recommend:  

• Checking in and asking open-ended questions (and actually listening) 
• Normalizing honest conversations about what’s working and what’s not (and actually listening) 
• Following through (MOST IMPORTANT). Say what you mean and do what you say. Trust isn’t built on conversations alone, it’s built on what happens afterwards.  

2. Don’t Make Assumptions.  

Not everyone processes past experiences the same way. Nor will any two people have the same exact experience. We recognize it can be tempting to label and treat behaviors quickly and similarly, but resist the urge. Instead:  

• Get curious before drawing conclusions
  Ask questions → Think about their responses → Think about your answers to their responses
  In that order.  
• Clarify expectations kindly, clearly, and often 
• Create space for them to share how they work best 

Remember that what you’re seeing might be a response to what they’ve experienced, not a reflection of who they are at their best.  

3. Give Them the Grace, and Space, to Flourish.

Confidence doesn’t always (and likely won’t ever) bounce back overnight. If someone is coming from a tough environment, that may mean they won’t immediately show up as their full, confident self, BUT that doesn’t mean they won’t get there. As their leader, your role is to:  

• Give them breathing room to rebuild confidence 
• Avoid micromanaging (yes, even if it’s well-intended) 
• Recognize progress, not just perfection 

Support them by giving them an environment where they can safely step into their strengths again. 

4. Be Consistent. 

If someone has experienced unpredictability or broken trust before, they are going to pay much closer attention to patterns now. Consistency helps people release the breath they’ve been holding for the “shoe to drop” – because consistency shows them, it won’t.  

• Again, do what you say you will do 
• Handle situations fairly across the board 
• Communicate changes kindly, clearly, and often (seeing a pattern yet?) 

5. Show Them What “Good” Looks Like. 

And no, we don’t mean comparing them to Suzie in finance. We mean show them what a good LEADER looks like. It may be the employee’s first time seeing what a healthy leader looks like, and that is powerful (and a big responsibility). A good leader models:  

• Respect in every situation 
• Transparency in decision-making 
• Accountability (yup, even when it’s you that messed up)  

For all employees, and especially worn-down employees, you are not just leading – you are redefining what leadership can and should look like.  

Final Thought: Be the Reset 

You may never fully know what someone experienced before they joined your team, but you can control what they experience now. And that matters more than you may think.  

When leaders choose to be intentional – to actually listen, speak kindly, communicate clearly, and model good leadership often – they are improving performance, helping others rebuild their confidence, and creating an environment with a foundation of trust.  

If you’re not sure where to start, that’s okay. Leadership is a skillset, and like any skill, it can be developed. Through the right support, training, and self-awareness, leaders can learn how to create these environments. That’s exactly why we offer leadership development trainings and assessments designed to help you better understand your leadership style, identify opportunities for growth, and build the habits that truly make a difference for your team.  

So, don’t be THAT leader. Be the one they’re relieved they found.